As of 4-6 weeks after the injury, I had been to the ER, primary care twice, and MRI. The only direction I was given at this point was that I could follow up with a neurologist. Minimal guidance on who, where, etc. Now unfortunately the medical community makes us jump through hoops to transfer records and trying to get in with ANY doctor within a month was almost impossible. I really didn’t have the brain capacity to find a doctor, fill out the paperwork, and get the MRI sent over, but I guess I figured it out eventually. My memory of this period is pretty vague. It is NOT very comforting to find out you have to wait so long to see a doctor when you can barely function, and no doctor has been helpful yet.

Anyways, the month passed and finally I got in to see two different neurologists. One did a basic exam, checking out memory, balance, coordination etc. However, she had little to offer besides medication that she used with other patients to treat migraines. The other doctor did almost no examination and told me if I was bad enough to see a neurologist, it would take me on average 9 months to recover.

And that was it. Bam. Nada. No other advice. No explanation of this is how the brain works or information on rehabilitation.

I felt separated from myself. Who was this brain and body I know longer had control of. If a doctor can’t help me, and doctors help humans, then maybe I am no longer human. I truly felt out of body. An alien.

I was no longer living the same life as everyone else, but I didn’t know how to explain it. You look good people say. You seem fine. I had a concussion once and I was fine within a week. These comments have continued throughout the last two years. To be honest, they are maddening. If anyone else were inside my brain, they would know it wasn’t “just a concussion.” Hence this blog.

THANK GOD, I had made an appointment with a physical therapist I had seen previously for a torn knee. My neck had been hurting, and I was hopeful she could help me save some money from the massages I had been getting. Little did I know, there was an entire concussion protocol of therapy which included physical therapy, vestibular (balance), vision, and cognitive therapy. I could not even get through the intake examination. I was so nauseous and fatigued I had to lie down for an hour before I could even leave the clinic. Less than 10 squats made me feel like I was going to throw up. This appointment took days to recover from.

And so my life of therapy had begun. I had zero idea what was in store or what had happened to me. And the scariest part was no one else seemed to know either.